A Different Drummer

The name of a blog is important. It needs to be catchy, but it also needs to make sense. When you are travelling, it also needs to be evocative of the place you are in. I think I nailed it pretty hard with An Irish Experience - a good name, rememberable, made sense as a URL, and it was pretty sweet sounding. However, to keep things interesting, I ruled out using the word "Egypt" in my title this time around.

Shisha and Shawerma, is, to begin with, good alliteration - like Peter Parker or Lois Lane, beginning two words with the same letters is always a good start.

It is also fairly evocative of life in Egypt - not just on the literal sense either. Although yes, a lot of Shisha is smoked (think giant bong where you smoke flavoured tobacco), and a lot of Shawerma, in various incarnations, is eaten (Shawerma, also known around the world as kebab, doner, yiros, giro, pita), there is more to it than this.

Life in Egypt is weird. Things are just different here. And Shisha and Shawerma both epitomise the differences.

Firstly, no-one drinks. Well, some people do. But no-one drinks in Egypt in the same way that no-one eats puppies in Australia. It happens, of course, in dark corners populated by foreigners and strange locals, and no-one wants to have anything to do with it. It is an intensely marginalised and suspected practice. Which suits me just fine, because apart from the occasional Coopers on a hot Aussie day, Guinness on a cold Irish one, and Champagne and Red Bull when my Hungarian influences take over, I'm not big on drinking.

But what replaces the pub, or the club, when the alcohol is no more? What is the replacement for "lets go for a drink"? One word, my friends. Shisha. It fills the social void left where alcohol once proudly sat, plus so much more. Pretty much anywhere you can imagine, you will be able to order Shisha, plus a glass of mint tea, or maybe a cold Fayrouz. If you are a bearded old man, accompanied by a fellow beardie, then all you need to do is click your fingers, and men scurry out of nowhere, bringing stools, shisha, and a table to put the tea on. This happens literally everywhere, and I'm telling you, it causes havoc on the highways in rush hour. OK, that bit is an exaggeration, but only slightly.

Shisha also tells us many things about Egyptian society and values.

1) Lack of government interest in public health - if you tried selling massive water pipes of flavoured tobacco in Australia, the government would probably force you to hang a dead baby from the top, with "smoking kills little babies" scrawled on its bloated stomach in pigs blood. In Egypt, you can get Shisha in the waiting rooms of government buildings.
2) Strange religious interpretations (also known as "hypocrisy") - the Prophet (peace be upon him) said that putting substances into your body that effect your mind is forbidden. Hence, no alcohol. But sucking down the equivelant of 3 cigarette packs worth of nicotine in a three hour Shisha session is odey-dokey, even for the most beardedly devout.
3) Its hot...Let us sit somewhere - Cairo is, scientifically speaking, frigging hot. 40 degree days are the standard, and temperatures get much higher on the "hot" days. Cairo is also a structurally "hot" city - crowded, shitloads of traffic, polluted, dusty.....anything that magnifies heat, Cairo has it. Including that giant magnifying glass that the last city council erected unexplainably over the city centre. Anyhow, Cairenes are usually desperate to seek refuge indoors after anything more than a 15 minute exposure to the outdoors. They are looking for a place where they can buy one cheap thing, that will justify them staying in the place for a couple of hours. And thus, allah created Shisha.
4) People are Talking.... - Egyptians gossip. They love, absolutely love, to gossip. Finding out about the dirty dancing of the daughter of a prominent local politician at a recent wedding, for an Egyptian, has the entertainment value of Terminator 3, plus the news value of who killed JFK, and in an easily accessable format. Where do these discussions take place? Over shisha, of course
5) Men Only - Oh, didnt I mention that already - of course, Shisha is only for men. The average Shisha cafe is strictly for old men, and women simply wouldnt dream of trying to go there, unless they wanted to brand their family as whores for the next 700 years. Some "progressive" younger women will enjoy a Shisha in a trendy modern style cafe, but as long as no-one over the age of 25 is in the room. People talk, you know. Over shisha. And the girls have a reputation to consider, if they ever plan on marrying into a reputable family. They don't want to become the subject of Shisha time gossip.

So, as you can see, Shisha is representative of a lot of things concerning life in Cairo. And it also is a nice sounding word. It wouldn't be part of the title of my blog if it was called Taamiyya (felafel).

So, on to Shawerma. Well, firstly, there is the worldliness of the stuff. After Chinese food, and Pizza, I'd say that Shawerma/Kebab/Yiros is abotu the most globalised fast food you can imagine. I have never been anywhere in the world where the drunken/late night foods of choice did not include a big revolving cone of glistening meat, sliced into bread and dressed in about 200 different ways. In Australia, it is sliced onto a round flat bread, and rolled up with lettuce, tomato, onion and garlic sauce. In Ireland, it is sliced into a pocket, topped with lettuce, and covered in hot chilli sauce. In Belfast, the local favourite is the hot meat, mixed with potato chips and tomato sauce, served in an aluminum tin tray, eaten with a fork. In Turkey, it is sliced into a crusty bread roll, and served with pickles, fried onions and a tomato-yoghurt sauce.

Shawerma is globalisation - intensely ancient and primal, owned by many different cultures, moved across the world and reinterpreted according to local tasted, recognised everywhere.

Shawerma in Egypt is, I say confidently from much experience, the best in the world. In most countries, it is more about the quantity - how much meat and salad can you cram into the bread, and then about the sauce - how good is the garlic yoghurt. In Egypt, it is all about the delicately spiced and scented meat. It is unbelievable. The meat smells like incense, and tastes like heaven. I would have an Egyptian Shawerma stand grilling away in my house - to warn away evil spirits, to make the house smell great, and to have constant access to the worlds best meat. Ever.

Shawerma is also served in so many different ways here - the miracle is that every single one of them is delicious. My current favourite is Fatta Shawerma - chicken and lamb meat, mixed with garlic sauce, served on top of rice and sliced flat bread. Amazing.

So, in tribute to possibly the only thing that Egyptians can claim to being best in the world at, Shawerma deserves an equal place in the title of my blog.

And, well, that is that. Nearly 2000 words later, and I think I have given a small taste of what is to come, as well as explaining my title for this blog. If you have read this and want to let me know you have seen my new blog, how about leaving a comment below - the comment system on blogspot is easy, reliable, and it works, which is more than can be said about the comments system on my last site. So comment away.