A Different Drummer

It doesn't get much more UAE than camel racing, and not just for the obvious reasons.

Until recently, young boys were used as jockeys for the camels - part of a long Arab tradition. Then, as the UAE got bigger and richer and unimaginably more complicated, things changed. The camel trainers started importing young boys from the subcontinent to do the jockeying, and the whole thing got a nasty air of international child trafficking, underage slave labour etc.

So the UAE came up with the most perfectly UAE solution.

Instead of little boys riding the camels, the camels are captained by a small robotic jockey, weighted to be about as heavy as a boy, with remote controlled reins and crop. The trainers drive alongside the track in Jeeps, hanging out the window of the car with the remote control in their hands, piloting the camels themselves.

They even have a little speaker on the camel, connected via radio to a microphone in the Jeep of the trainer, so the guy can spur his camel on. As the beasts come trotting past, little robotic jockey whipping them on, you hear a tinny speaker on the saddle yelling "hut hut hut! yalla! yalla!"

Then you turn around and see the trainer, one hand on the wheel of the car, one hand on the remote control, yelling those same words as he hangs out of the driver's side window.

The best part of all? They dress the little robots up like miniature Emiratis, flowing white robe and scarf over the head and everything.



Heres a closer look from a better angle:



This surreal fusion is something that can only happen in a place like this. It is the UAE in a nutshell: what happens when a proud, ancient culture collides in a head-on thousand-mile-an-hour embrace with the 20th centrury, swallows it whole, enjoys the taste, goes a bit crazy experimenting with all the wonderful weirdness the world has to offer, starts devouring its own traditions with 21st century condiments. You end up with robotic camel jockeys and ski slopes in the desert and five-star hotels on the top of 1500-metre mountains.

I was getting ahead of myself there. Mountains. After the camel races, we went to Jebel Hafeet, the tallest mountain in the UAE. You can drive to the peak on a butter-smooth three lane road.



Once you reach the summit, you can chill in a pretty styling 5-star hotel, or hang out in a giant car park where the asphalt is covered in the telltale swerving lines of burnt rubber. The place is obviously a burnout haven for kids in their expensive cars come nighttime. If you're going to head out for night of smoing tires and doughnuts, why not do it on the peak of your country's highest mountain?

The view from the top is fairly impressive, although it was pretty hazy when we got there. I was more interested in all the graffiti on the side of the mountain.



My limited ability to read and understand Arabic tells me that this guy tagged "Bani Yas" - the name of the ruling tribe of the UAE, onto the mountain. Makes sense I suppose - kids will normally tag the name of their crew or posse or whatever, this kid just tagged the name of his.

The fact that his crew is a 500 year old Arabian tribe? Welcome to the UAE.....