Let a hundred weird fruits blossom
2 Comments Published by Tom Gara on Saturday, July 12 at Saturday, July 12, 2008.
In tribute to two great characteristics of the UAE - its ethnic diversity and its overriding commitment to consumerism - here is a selection of photos of the strange fruits and "vegetables" on sale today at the local hypermegaglobalsupermart:
Snake Fruit: despite having the skin of a Cobra, these little brown critters failed to put the fear of death into my heart, mainly because they lacked hideous fangs and angry, devious little eyes.
Star Fruit: These are a good source of vitamin C, and make excellent spear tips for societies yet to reach the bronze age.
Jujube: In my imagination, you mash a Jujube into GruGru paste and blend it in with a whole bunch of SmooSmoo juice to make a delicious BleeBleebe.
But reality is far more entertaining; Wikipedia says that "the jujube's sweet smell is said to make teenagers fall in love, and as a result, in the Himalaya and Karakoram regions, men take a stem of sweet smelling jujube flowers with them or put it on their hats to attract the opposite gender."
Bitter Gourd: The Bitter Gourd is essentially a regular Gourd, embittered after years of mistreatment and exploitation. Chemicals from the unusual skin of the Bitter Gourd were used by the KGB to poison the Ukranian opposition leader Victor Yuschenko in 2004.
Dragon Fruit: This fruit's ability to breathe fire and demolish entire buildings with a single sweep of its powerful claws means it must be transported and sold in a sraitjacket-style protetive suit, and only women with well balanced knives and blessed mithreal armour dare attempt to peel and devour them.
Snake Fruit: despite having the skin of a Cobra, these little brown critters failed to put the fear of death into my heart, mainly because they lacked hideous fangs and angry, devious little eyes.
Star Fruit: These are a good source of vitamin C, and make excellent spear tips for societies yet to reach the bronze age.
Jujube: In my imagination, you mash a Jujube into GruGru paste and blend it in with a whole bunch of SmooSmoo juice to make a delicious BleeBleebe.
But reality is far more entertaining; Wikipedia says that "the jujube's sweet smell is said to make teenagers fall in love, and as a result, in the Himalaya and Karakoram regions, men take a stem of sweet smelling jujube flowers with them or put it on their hats to attract the opposite gender."
Bitter Gourd: The Bitter Gourd is essentially a regular Gourd, embittered after years of mistreatment and exploitation. Chemicals from the unusual skin of the Bitter Gourd were used by the KGB to poison the Ukranian opposition leader Victor Yuschenko in 2004.
Dragon Fruit: This fruit's ability to breathe fire and demolish entire buildings with a single sweep of its powerful claws means it must be transported and sold in a sraitjacket-style protetive suit, and only women with well balanced knives and blessed mithreal armour dare attempt to peel and devour them.
Tom, I hate to get persnickety over your posts, which are of course awesome, but I must take issue with a few instances of inprecise wording in this one.
Arrow Fruit is only useful for societies yet to reach the stone age. People waiting for bronze will surely have flint-tipped spears they don't have to replace when they become overripe.
And of course, truesilver, the most precious of metals, was called "mithril" by the elves. With an 'i' not 'ea'.
Please do your research or check with me before making further nonhistorical weapon-related claims on your otherwise always accurate blog.
Sincere apologies Dan, in the future greater attention will be paid to all things paleolithic and Elvish.