There's a key reason why the manly cultures of Australia, the US etc will never fully accept soccer as a real national sport. Its the falling over and acting like you're hurt.
You see, in real sports, of course professionals will know how to game the referee, look like contact was harder than it was, take the occasional dive etc. But only in soccer do you do this and actually writhe around in pretend agony, acting like you are in excruciating pain.
This is the core wimpyness of soccer that hardy cultures will never accept. In cricket, if the bowler hits you in the elbow with a ball travelling at 150 km/h, the whole idea is to stare straight act him and act like it didn't hurt at all. Dont even rub it or acknowledge the impact at all if possible.
In the spirit of ridiculing this pansy'ness, here is a great video of the best soccer "dives" of all time, set to an incredibly awesome loopy acoustic guitar/whistling version of the Star Wars imperial march tune....
You see, in real sports, of course professionals will know how to game the referee, look like contact was harder than it was, take the occasional dive etc. But only in soccer do you do this and actually writhe around in pretend agony, acting like you are in excruciating pain.
This is the core wimpyness of soccer that hardy cultures will never accept. In cricket, if the bowler hits you in the elbow with a ball travelling at 150 km/h, the whole idea is to stare straight act him and act like it didn't hurt at all. Dont even rub it or acknowledge the impact at all if possible.
In the spirit of ridiculing this pansy'ness, here is a great video of the best soccer "dives" of all time, set to an incredibly awesome loopy acoustic guitar/whistling version of the Star Wars imperial march tune....
Thank you for giving me the most validating 2.75 minutes of my life. I've long argued that soccer is a boring sport for whiners, and it's nice to see a part of that equation highlighted so vividly.
People who play pro soccer are whiney babies, and people who watch pro soccer admire whiney babies.
even better: during the All Blacks/ Wallabies match on Saturday a rookie Fijian touch judge decided it was his moment to shine. He raised his flag and stopped the game. The ref came over to here what he had to say it went something like this:
Ref: 'You have something...?"
Touch ref: "I saw one Black and one Gold extending arms at each other"
Ref: 'do you think it is significant enough to award a penalty?'
Touch ref: 'hmmm, no'
Ref: 'so why did you stop the game?'
the point: no one watching that game so much as raised an eyebrow to the fact that two 120kg front row forwards were laying into each. In fact it is considered part of the game.