Why Egyptians are the World's Greatest People
2 Comments Published by Tom Gara on Monday, September 29 at Monday, September 29, 2008.
A Badly Translated, Innacurate but Fundamentally True Account of the Conversation that Just Happened in Front of Me
Dubai Airport, 1am, every Egyptian in the world is lined up trying to check in for the last Egyptair flight that will get them home in time for Eid. Everyone is carring way too much luggage, loaded to the brim with the wondrous Dubai gifts that will be the star attraction of their family get togethers on their return: 100-piece dining sets, 5 kilogram packs of shelled pistachio nuts, thick downy blankets and bedroom sets. Mothers and aunts and in-laws will beam with pride and joy at the bounties brought home by their hard-working heroes:
Working Class Upper Egyptian Man In Front of Me: What is the problem?
Egyptair Check In Lady: Sir, you have 140 kilograms of luggage, and your limit is 20 kilograms.
WCUEMIFM: No problems! Its nothing, just a little thing!
(Among the things he is trying to check in is one of those big 25 litre barrels of water you would put into an office water cooler)
ECIL: It is a problem sir, we can make an exception, but this is too much
WCUEMIFM: Too much? Thank God! Thank God! Its no problem...
ECIL: Thank God. But you will have to pay for the extra above 40 kilos
WCUEMIFM: OK, OK, lets go, how much
ECIL: It is 170 Dirhams per kilogram, so in this case, it will be 11,700 Dirhams ($3200)
WCUEMIFM: God! God! Look, here, I have....
(counts money carefully from wallet, note by note...)
WCUEMIFM: 175 Dirhams . Thank God. Happy Eid. Happy Eid.
(tries to hand the cash around the side of the counter directly to ECIL)
ECIL: Happy Eid. But this cannot be accepted, it is forbidden.
WCUEMIFM: OK, who is the boss here. Where is the boss, the prince (Arab-speakers, translate Pasha as you wish)
WCUEMIFM, gesturing at a man with a moustache in a suit jacket in the corner: Prince, Prince
Man: She is the boss, I just do the bags
WCUEMIFM: Something in Arabic I couldn't understand that makes both men crack up laughing, presumably related to the woman being the boss, but I might be wrong
ECIL: Shame! I am trying to help you!
WCUEMIFM: For 11 thousand dirhams! Shame! Happy Eid! Thank God! Thank God
ECIL: Thank God!
At this point I had my boarding pass and was just hanging around watching the beautiful spectacle. I assume it went on for another hour, and I have the feeling our Hero-Protagonist got his luggage on the plane without paying 6 month's wages. I just saw him walking into the booze section of the duty free.
Dubai Airport, 1am, every Egyptian in the world is lined up trying to check in for the last Egyptair flight that will get them home in time for Eid. Everyone is carring way too much luggage, loaded to the brim with the wondrous Dubai gifts that will be the star attraction of their family get togethers on their return: 100-piece dining sets, 5 kilogram packs of shelled pistachio nuts, thick downy blankets and bedroom sets. Mothers and aunts and in-laws will beam with pride and joy at the bounties brought home by their hard-working heroes:
Working Class Upper Egyptian Man In Front of Me: What is the problem?
Egyptair Check In Lady: Sir, you have 140 kilograms of luggage, and your limit is 20 kilograms.
WCUEMIFM: No problems! Its nothing, just a little thing!
(Among the things he is trying to check in is one of those big 25 litre barrels of water you would put into an office water cooler)
ECIL: It is a problem sir, we can make an exception, but this is too much
WCUEMIFM: Too much? Thank God! Thank God! Its no problem...
ECIL: Thank God. But you will have to pay for the extra above 40 kilos
WCUEMIFM: OK, OK, lets go, how much
ECIL: It is 170 Dirhams per kilogram, so in this case, it will be 11,700 Dirhams ($3200)
WCUEMIFM: God! God! Look, here, I have....
(counts money carefully from wallet, note by note...)
WCUEMIFM: 175 Dirhams . Thank God. Happy Eid. Happy Eid.
(tries to hand the cash around the side of the counter directly to ECIL)
ECIL: Happy Eid. But this cannot be accepted, it is forbidden.
WCUEMIFM: OK, who is the boss here. Where is the boss, the prince (Arab-speakers, translate Pasha as you wish)
WCUEMIFM, gesturing at a man with a moustache in a suit jacket in the corner: Prince, Prince
Man: She is the boss, I just do the bags
WCUEMIFM: Something in Arabic I couldn't understand that makes both men crack up laughing, presumably related to the woman being the boss, but I might be wrong
ECIL: Shame! I am trying to help you!
WCUEMIFM: For 11 thousand dirhams! Shame! Happy Eid! Thank God! Thank God
ECIL: Thank God!
At this point I had my boarding pass and was just hanging around watching the beautiful spectacle. I assume it went on for another hour, and I have the feeling our Hero-Protagonist got his luggage on the plane without paying 6 month's wages. I just saw him walking into the booze section of the duty free.
That barrel of water may have been from the Well of Zamzam, Mecca.
Guys like this just make things more difficult for other passengers.
By your definition I'd like to put forward Tongans as being the world's greatest people. Along with their own ample human frames I've seen them check in 100s of kilos of cabin luggage and seen a band take on all their instruments as hand luggage - including drums and piano keyboard!