A Different Drummer

The National's Peter Hellyer on the ridiculous $950,000 "Sheikh Zayed Mosque rifle, designed as a tribute to the building and its creator, inlaid with 36 coloured diamonds and engraved with an image of the late founder of the nation:"

"The concept of this rifle is an insult to the mosque, to the man who spurred its construction and to Islam itself. It is also an insult to those attending the show. Do the gun’s manufacturers think that the deep affection in which Sheikh Zayed is held by the people of the UAE, both Emiratis and expatriates, is such that the mere tacking of his name on to a rifle adorned with diamonds is sufficient to persuade someone to buy it?"

Yes, yes they do. And they are almost certainly correct in their assumption, because the people of the UAE, both Emirati and expatriate, are suckers for the global "phenomenally expensive tacky shit" industry. In fact, they are fast emerging as a kind of global class of jet-setting slack-jawed yokel, getting gleefully conned into swapping their precious resources for handfuls of coloured beads.

From $80,000 Vertu mobile phones to "exclusive" $40,000 Montblanc pens with the UAE flag tacked on in coloured Swarovski crystals to an even more exclusive diamond studded television, one thing is clear: Getting your second-rate, overpriced product, covering it with lurid diamonds and crystals, pricing it in six figures and shipping it as an "exclusive" product to the UAE is a fundamentally sound business model.

China prepares for its National Day:

Citizens might lift their spirits with a list of 50 officially approved slogans issued to mark national day (soldiers have been ordered to post them up and shout them in their camps). “Uphold the basic economic system with public ownership playing a dominant role and diverse forms of economic ownership developing together, and with the practice of distribution according to work being carried out as the mainstay alongside other forms of distribution,” goes a particularly snappy one.

Check out the whole story in The Economist (which keeps getting better).

The newest addition to my desk at work makes me happy.


I wish it was a little bit more steampunk - would be great if I could plug the iPhone into it, or at least use it as a bluetooth headset for my mobile. On the plus side, if a man busts into our office and goes on a shooting rampage (this isn't completely out of the question), I can grab my old timey desk phone by its two convenient handles, and beat him over the head with it.

Try doing that with an iPhone.

From Blogger Pictures

It should be noted that these things - guns, women, dogs, roller skates, fire, alcohol - make a beautifully comprehensive list of all the things that can bring about a man's downfall, either alone or in combination.

This sign is wise beyond our comprehension.

I have always had a fondness for unknown drinks - not spirits and exotic tropical rums, but juices and soft drinks and strange things in cans that I have never seen before. I like to imagine that the perfect cold drink has yet to be developed, and that across the world, mad beverage scientists are working 24-7 to invent the Perfect Drink.

In Australia, I had a strange respect for Sno-Top, a drink that tastes like nothing else on earth, and so obscure that it doesn't even have a website. In Northern Ireland I was introduced to Irn-Bru, truly a badass drink if ever there was one. Not long after, in Cairo, I was singing the praises of Pinapple Fayrouz, which I maintain is the best hot weather version of a cold beer for places where a cold beer isn't going to happen. And how could you properly love Malta and its people without loving Kinnie?

In the Netherlands, the beverage marvel was Spa Marie-Henriette, the water that isn't quite still and isn't quite sparkling, for those tough times when a sparkling water would be too harsh and a still water too dull. In neighbouring Belgium, I always had a thing for Schweppes Agrum, the greatest fruity drink of them all. I don't think it has anything to do with Belgium, but I discovered it there and it always seems to be on shelves there, so maybe the Belgians have taken to it with a particular vigour.

And who could forget Shani, a vision of pure carbonated berry love, our traditional drink when hitting up the Siwa oasis in Egypt. Apparently the Siwans smuggle it in from Libya - it's that delicious.

The UAE is a brilliant aggregator of strange bottled drinks from around the world, from the wonderfully named Pocari Sweat (Japanese) to Power Horse (Austrian), the Energy Drink of Tremendous Symbolism. But last night at the little corner store near my house in Abu Dhabi, I came across this marvel:


Thums Up - tagline (at the top of the can) "Taste the Thunder." My suggested new tagline: "Thums Up: We cut out the silent b and pass on the savings to you." A scientific tasting at my place concurred that it is intended as some sort of cola, but with a decidedly ginger / spice element. My housemate's complaint of a "harsh afterburn" was pretty accurate - this isn't a drink for the novices.

My conclusion: when your product development guys don't bother to run a spellcheck on the name of your new drink, it is likely that they also cut some other corners along the way. I tasted the thunder, along with many other things, and my thumbs are not raised to the sky.

“If the wife does not hear my words I will seek another obedient wife,” he says. “She was not respecting me, maybe she is defaming me through a long tongue. Some wives shouted at me and told me to shut up....

“I married them just because I wanted to,” he says. “It is a shame to love a woman. If I see a woman, I look down. If I want to marry, I will get married.” (The National)

- Salem Juma'a, father of 52 children. A man we should all learn from, to be sure.