A Different Drummer

Life in Egypt isnt easy, especially when you are one of my guests.



As you can see, they are having a real tough time getting by here.......

The Magyar's have broken the outer walls of Cairo and a full invasion now seems inevitable.

The penetration was foiled for a couple of frigging hours by the not-a-least-bit-incompetent Cairo airport immigration staff, who instantly recognised the high risk profile of two hungarians travelling together to Cairo - the classic terrorist profile if ever I've heard one. The airport dumbasses took decided they needed to go in investigate this one, and retired to their High Command Investigations Centre to launch a full investigation, taking the passports with them.

And what an investitgation it was, because it took almost two hours - from 3.20 am when the plane landed, to just after 5 in the morning when they managed to go through passport control. It was best experienced on the other side, waiting around in Cairo airport through the ungodliest hours of the morning from Peter and Mark to come out, having no idea what is going on. We could occasionally get a glimpse of them through the tinted glass seperating the arrivals area from the waiting room but given that passport control and a shitload of guards in between, there was no way we were going to talk to them.

Great work Cairo Airport. It was a blast for all involved.

Anyhow all is cool now, the Huns are settled in and ready to devour Egypt over the next two weeks. Expect updates, and get familiar with cannibalism.

Famously clueless former Australian telecommunications monopoly Telstra - who are desperately trying to become a "content provider" to try and stem the losses caused by the outward flood of customers in a newly competitive marketplace, have made possibly the most hilarious PR screw-up of all time. It doesn't get any better than this:

"RED-FACED Telstra executives were scrambling last night to undo damage caused by a massive print advertising campaign that directed fans of Australian Idol winner Casey Donovan to a graphic gay porn website.

Teenagers following instructions from the ad and typing in www.caseydonovan.com, hoping to hear Donovan's single, were instead greeted by naked images of gay porn star Casey Donovan, who died of an AIDS-related illness in 1987."

Fantastic, awesome, I can't even express properly how much of a glorious fuckup this is. Sending pop-crazed teenagers expecting to download an "Australian Idol" single to a gay porn website has to be one of the most supreme acts of corporate hilariousness in the internet era. Some poor bastard is SO losing his job over this. As any prominent Australian registered website knows, it is important to remember that .com and .com.au are often two completely different ballgames (pardon the pun).

Thea has posted a whole load of pictures from our Siwa trip on her blog, go check it out.

But I couldnt resist stealing just a couple and posting them here. First up, this should be the entry listed in the encyclopedia under the heading "Chilling Out, How To" :



And here is a great shot of some Beduoin, like the Ninja of the Sahara desert:



And I couldnt fail to include this one. Like my own fundamental image of worldliness (shown below), its hard to imagine a better photo of Ehab than this one. Ehab became our Jesus-like prophet for the rest of the trip after walking on water with a grace and style that cannot be captured in words:

Peter, my Hungarian brother in spirit, arrives tomorrow. He spent 6 months in Australia, and those six months were without a doubt the crappiest six months of weather in my memory of Australia. It was still raining and cloudy in December for Gods sake.

And it looks like he has done it again. After 4 months of continuous sun and warmth, Peter arrives tomorrow. And for the first time since I have been here, it is raining in Cairo. For sure this is the first rain of the year.

Peter you bastard, stay away from me from now on. You could make a lot of money going on holidays to drought ridden countries you know - better than a witch doctor and a rain dance for sure.

The effects of rain on Cairo will be interesting to observe. Downtown Cairo is full of big beautiful old 1800's European style building, they are permanently covered in a layer of dust and grime though. Maybe a good rain will clean them up and Cairo will look like Paris for one brief, beautiful moment.

That make me want to travel around Europe taking photos next year instead of other, more reasonable, economic life options.

Sarah has posted some fantastic photos from Spain (I think), which I think will ignite the travel bug in anyone who has the urge already. This is just gorgeous:



Look at all the rest too. Spending the day in Prague on the way home from Germany this August made me realis just how much Europe really has to offer. Yeah, I still have my fascination with Mosques and Islamic culture etc, but Europe really is the ducks nuts when it comes to unbelievably beautiful cities.

Speaking of beautiful European cities - Peter, my Hungarian soul brother, arrives in Cairo tomorrow for couple of weeks of fun and general badness. Peter is from Budapest, the coolest place I have ever been, and home to the greatest picture I have ever taken:

If you want to see some spot-on observations on the way modern culture is heading (in the developed world at least), this online question and answer session with Reason magazine editor Nick Gillespie is a great read.

Reason is one of my favourite online magazines - their politics and worldview match mine closer than anything else I have read. Liberal with a lower case "l", and really in touch with our times. Here is a good example of Gillespie's thinking:

For the first time in human history, masses of people can make a huge number of choices. We can choose what we look like—whether through fashion, plastic surgery, or other forms of body modification. We can choose who we live with and who we sleep with, because many of the social and legal prohibitions that barred many types of couplings a mere 20 years ago are now gone. We’re more mobile, and we have more money, and it’s more possible to live the type of life we want, wherever we want. We have this terrible, terrible freedom to pick and choose, to live however we want. That is an incredible liberating, illuminating, and fascinating development. But it’s also a terrifying one for those who are fixated on controlling or regulating other people’s lives—socially, politically, or economically. And it is a very bad time to be one who wants to be in charge of other people.

Read the whole thing, it keeps getting better from there.

Hardees yesterday announced the highest calorie fast food product ever made, the delightfully named "Monster Thickburger". Typically, the nanny-ish media are getting all upset about it, and more interestingly, Hardees seem to be catering to Red-America impulses in their defense of their decadent delight:

"It's not a burger for tree-huggers," said a Hardee's executive, rejoicing in their defiance of the fad for salads and "Atkins-friendly" menus.

Anyhow, enough politics, heres details. 2/3 of a pound of prime beef, 4 slices of bacon, 3 slices of processed cheese, mayonaisse, on a buttered bun. I think the buttering of the bun is the real masterstroke. It racks up over 1500 calories, and 100 grams of fat. America is truly the land of innovation.

I have requested any US based members of the nomadlife community to go and try one and write a restaurant style review - links will be posted if and when it happens.

You know, when Egypt gets shafted, it doesnt suffer some 20th century, lightweight problem, like failing sewerage systems, electricity blackouts or economic crisis. These things are already structured into the fabric of the country and would not be considered a true shafting in their own right.

No, when a bad thing happens to Egypt, things get biblical.

There is now a massive swarm of Locusts (little flying grasshoppers, for those who don't know the word), literally blackening the skies of Cairo. Billions and billions of locusts, as far as you can see, in all directions. Driving through the suburbs of Cairo today, it felt like a hailstorm of insects - mostly flying in massive, endless coulds above, but enough coming down to our level to ensure a constant and fairly spooky soundtrack of Locusts going splat on the windscreen and crunch under the tires. At least I can tell my grandchildren that I lived through a plague of locusts. In Egypt, none the less, home of the Locust Plague.

Those of us who know their Old Testament (and those like me, who use google), know that a Plague of Locusts was number 8 in Gods line of ten punishments he dished out to the people of Egypt, trying to break their spirit and force them to free their Israeli slaves. First he turned all the fresh water into blood (now that would have been a horrible experience to live through), then the flooded the country in a swarm of frogs (who are menacing in a biblical way, I suppose, although "swarm of frogs" doesnt really inspire fear in my heart), then just to rub it in he turned all the dust into lice (or bed bugs, or gnats, depending on the translation. Little nasty things, none the less).

But the Egyptians are a resilient people, and these three punishments were little more than a slap on the wrist to them. So, God brings out some of the more heavy artillery. To complement the over abundance of frogs and lice, flies were added to the mix. Too many flies. Flies that tormented not only the people, but their servants, and their houses, and the land their houses was built on. God was a bit long winded in these things, you see. And then in something that was probably more of a product of the blood-water and abuntant lice and frogs and flies, all the livestock became diseased. Again, all though this was probably more a result of curses 1-4, God took credit for it and presented it as his fifth curse anyhow. He was opportunistic like that, you see.

From here, things just got plain nasty. God covered the Egyptians with boils, all over their skins, and the skins of their already diseased animals. Covered with boils, animals dying, frogs everywhere, wouldnt this be the time to decide that holding the people of Israel as slaves just isnt worth the hassle? I mean just go take some slaves from sub-Saharan Africa - God never seemed to punish anyone too severely for doing that, in all his infinite wisdom. And the Egyptians were probably considering doing this, after the general badness of the first 6 curses.

But then God goes and delivers a real let down of 7th curse. Isn't number seven supposed to be special? Not this time. This one was the diet coke of Godly curses. The margerine of the heavenly punishment world. God sent rain. And hail. And the Egyptians, covered in boils, hungry, itchy from the lice, surrounded unexplainably by frogs in the desert, must have been relieved and amused and at least happy to be able to have a good wash, given that all they have had to wash while for the last few months is that horrible blood-water.

So God realises his mistake, and decides that number 8 needs to be a real doozy. He is nearing the end of his Ten Punishments, and knows that he needs to send a message to the Egyptians that he isnt fucking around - and that he is going to finish of the top ten with an All-Awful-No-Commercials-Non-Stop-Triple-Play of turbo injustice.

Enter the locusts. The enemy of agricultural people everywhere, locusts eat everything they can land on, and are the end of any farm that they swarm to. To the heavily agriculture dependant people of the Nile Valley, a plague of Locusts might as well be a cropduster loaded with anthrax. Game. Over. Nothing more to eat for a while now, slave-holding-Egyptians. God onloads with both barrels and unleashes Locusts that "cover the face of the earth, so that one cannot be able to see the earth: and they shall eat the residue of that which is escaped, which remaineth unto you from the hail, and shall eat every tree which groweth for you out of the field". And that one really put the Egyptians on their knees.

So now, God knows that its time to go in for the kill and finish them off. With only two curses left (and a grand finale fireworks spectacular lined up for number Ten), God decides to get the atmosphere just right with curse number 9. What do you do when you want to create a nice romantic mood? Dim the lights, light up some candles, put on the Marvin Gaye, open a bottle of red wine, light the log fire and crumble the two Rohypnol pills into the glass. What do you do when you are about to deliver the worst shafting ever to a group of already severely defeated and powerless enemies? Kill the lights. Let them suffer. In the dark.

"And the LORD said unto Moses, Stretch out thine hand toward heaven, that there may be darkness over the land of Egypt, even darkness which may be felt. 10:22 And Moses stretched forth his hand toward heaven; and there was a thick darkness in all the land of Egypt three days"

Think about this - if after the last eight punishments - the plagues of flies, frogs, lice, and locusts, after being covered with boils and forced to cook, drink and wash with fresh blood - you would start getting the undeniable impression that God isnt happy with you. And if, when convinced of this fact, the sun fails to go up for three days in a row, well, I'd be fairly certain things are headed in a consistant downward trajectory for the short-medium term. Its freak out time.

So, having sufficient set the mood, God brings in the grand finale, the 1812 Overture of the "lets shaft the Egyptians" symphony. He kills the first born child of every family in Egypt. History's first genocide? Undoubtably not, but surely an early example of the crude and deplorable logic of collective punishment being dished out on the basis of nothing more than race or nationality. What an absolute prick of a thing to do. Its not that I want to beat up on old Goddy for no reason here. I mean, if he acted this way, this uncompromising, this morally certain, every time any people decided to start taking others as slaves, then at least there would be a solid precedent, and one which is in many ways morally defensible. Slavery is horrible, and if there was an all powerful God, I'd have liked him to stamp it out early or at least discourage it in whatever way possible.

But instead, it seems to me (I'm no Bible scholar, so I may be wrong here) that God didn't go out of his way to free all the other enslaved people of the Earth, before or after this particular episode. And he certainly didnt intervene in the absolute boom times of slavery, when his most committed followers were practicing slavery as if it was going out of fashion.

No, it seems to me that God did this more to prove a point - that this is what happens when you disobey me, this is how bad I can get. This wasnt about the rights and wrongs of slavery. This was about proving how big and bad he was, and how much he could whoop ass whenever he wanted to. It was a big dick competition, with only one competitor. This is God as the bodybuilding martial arts fanatic who just has to get into a pointless fight and kick someones ass on a Friday night, just so everypne knows who is the tough guy. No justice, no morality, and nothing that fills me with a sense of overriding love and humanity. To quote Christoper Hitchens, "What a mad despot this is, and how fortunate we are that he exists only in the minds of his worshippers."

If I get run over by a car on the way home from the office tonight, you all know why :) I am now officially a Blasphemer! May the stoning begin!

Thanks to the awesome (and free) Statcounter service, I have been able to monitor the statistics on who is reading my blog, where, and how often. Its a really cool service, and I reccomend it to anyone out there who is blogging.

You can see the little green hitcounter button at the bottom of my toolbar on the right. I have had about 2600 hits to my site since installing the button two months ago - which is a number I am absolutely amazed by. I have been averaging about 40 hits per day, with about 25 on slower days (Sunday and Monday) and highs of 80-100 on good days (typically Wednesdays and Saturdays). What is even cooler is looking at the breakdown of where my blog is being read from:



All over the place! So, to all my homies in Australia, the USA, Egypt, Canada, the UK, South Africa, Germany, Ireland, Turkey, Malta, the Netherlands, Poland, Denmark, Nigeria, Hong Kong, France, Portugal and South Korea, I say a big G'Day to you. And these are just the countries I have had hits from in the last 2 days!

I get quite a few one off hits from Saudi Arabia, Israel, Lebanon and the UAE as well. Unfortunately, most do not come for my insightful outsiders view of life in the Middle East, but rather from google after searching for my slightly unconventional spelling of the word "shawerma" (it is typically spelt "shwarma" in latin letters, so I have discovered. "Shisha" is also more commonly spelt "Sheesha" as well). So to my Middle Eastern brothers stumbling across this site I say to you, come for the misspelt arabic food, but stay and enjoy the fun! Readers in over 25 countries can't be wrong!

My readers seem to be fairly tech savvy as well, with over 30% of my wonderful readers using the vastly superior (but still not widely used) Firefox web browser. Go Firefox. If you aren't using Firefox to surf the web, go download it right now - in the words of my good friend Slobs - "because it sucks less than Internet Explorer".

So, a global community of tech savvy early adopters, spread across the worlds leading developed and emerging markets. Maybe I should consider selling advertising?

Siwa was fantastic. Trying to describe it in words would not do it justice. Just an absolutely perfect few days away with a great group of people to one of the most amazing places on Earth. So I am back among civilisation now in Cairo, no longer kicking back in the sand dunes with the Bedouin and their trusty camels, but the feeling is still in me that I have experiences something special.

So imagine driving for about 4 straight hours into the Sahara desert, 4 hours of absolute desolate nothingness - just sand and the occasional rock. Then, out of the middle of nowhere, in the middle of all the sand and rock and absolute lifelessness, comes this:



It really is an oasis, just like you imagine it, palm trees and natural springs, in the middle of nowhere. The township itself is straight out wild west - you can imagine lone gunslingers arriving in town and kicking open the flapping doors of the local public house to down a cold beer. That is, except that you are in one of the most strictly conservative places in Egypt. You know a place is conservative when Egyptians call it "very conservative". The is absolutely no women to be seen, anywhere. None. We played spot the women for a few hours, and there just were absolutely no women in public. After a while I spotted a few women out walking in between houses - completely veiled, as in, totally covering their face, eyes and all. I have no idea how they manage to get around without bumping into everything - or how any religion justifies expecting such ridiculous codes of dress from women, especially one based in the scorchingly hot Sahara desert.

The closest I got to a Siwan woman was when a group of three ladies came past us on a donkey cart. It isnt the best close up portrait photo, but it is fairly symbolic of the situation with women there:



Anyhow, I will have a lot more photos uploaded over the next couple of days. In short, the desert was a beautiful place, and the sand dunes really reminded me of the scenery in the Nullabor Plains in south-western Australia - although with the added extra of the wonderful desert oasis areas, where palm trees and spring pools appear like magic in an ocean of sand. How this all works I don't know - any geologists or biologists or whatever care to explain in the comments?

I'll leave you with a couple of bonus photos, and a promise of more (and better) to come.



Boredom and desert and candles and herbal inspiration all combined in the ritual sacrifice of the lovely Purvi to the desert God(s).



Thea, who couldnt be more gorgeous if she tried, becoming at one with the desert.

And finally, what Egyptian desert experience would not be complete without the mandatory camels?

Dammnit I will be in Siwa, but Yasser Arafat's funeral service will be held in Cairo tomorrow. Would have been really cool to have seen the whole thing, although maybe the "public" part of the service - ie 50,000 Egyptians chanting and protesting etc - would not be the safest places for big white guy with a camera.

So, farewell Arafat. Yeah, he fucked up - missed lots of good opportunities, lost a lot of international support - but he also managed to make the issue of Palestine not just an administrative issue about a group of refugees, but a centrepiece of international relations in the second half of the twentieth century. Its amazing to think that when Arafat took power of the PLO in 1969, Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir was able to say, without a hint of controversy, that the Palestinian people did not exist, and this was not an unusual statement for the time. In just over 30 years, it is only crazies and fundamentalists would say something to that effect, and no-one of importance would take them seriously.

So, whether he deserves credit for it or not, the fact is that 35 years in power of the PLO have brought his people to the front of the line in terms or international challenges needing to be resolved. And although his actions in his final 5 years were incredibly irresponsible and a disaster for the short term chances of Palestinian statehood (the second intifatah should have been condemned and disowned officially, rather than used as a political leverage point), he still leaves a legacy of achieving a lot, for one of the worlds most fucked over people.

President Bush said in a statement "We hope that the future will bring peace and the fulfillment of their aspirations for an independent democratic Palestine that is at peace with its neighbors,''

Peace and Fulfillment - now where have I heard that before?

"Christian Right warns Bush that "mandate" sounds too gay - evangelicals suggest that Bush use the more rugged term 'manfishingtrip' "

Manfishingtrip - superb. The new word to avoid possible homosexual connotations for any of your less vigorously heterosexual activities. Going wine tasting? Oh no you're not. Its a manfishingtrip, and thats your story and you're sticking to it.

Two day's left in Ramadan. Sheer hedonism and daytime tomfoolery in Siwa will have an especially sweet taste after a month of fasting and general good'ness. No, I am not closer to God. But I am further from bastardry than I was a month ago, which will have to be rectified out there in the desert.

Hang on....a lot of guys.....out in the desert.....alone? Sounds a little bit gay doesn't it? No! Its a manfishingtrip! I swear!

Funniest Dilbert strip ever today. Go read, right now...

I've been on a big Johnny Cash bender for a while now, and I think I've discovered the peak of Johnny Cash awesomeness.

Johnny Cash - Live at Folsom Prison (1968)



Live in a high security prison. When the crowd roars there is no "woo-hoo" or girl-noise - its hooting and howling and shouting from thousands of angry, imprisoned men. And isnt Johnny Cash just the thing for them. His gruff, bitter lyrics about injustice and loneliness of living the hard life have their ultimate audience here. In Folsom Prison Blues, the line "I shot a man in Reno, just to see him die" gets a frighteningly enthusiastic roar from the crowd.

I've always loved the great live recordings of Bob Dylan, and its very obvious that he got a lot of his inspiration from Johnny Cash and his band. The music skitters along in the kind of blues-country-rock style that sounds so overplayed now, but with Johnny Cash and his awesome Nashville band, it just sounds brilliant. And the obvious live atmospherics of the prison environment (complete with warden announcements over the megaphone in between songs) really give this album something extra.

Find a copy of this album if you feel like something different. Highly reccomended.

So Ramadan is coming to a close. My month of fasting and spiritual introspection hasnt really led me to a new understanding of my God as I hope - but mainly becuase having though about it, I really became more committed to my atheism than I was before. Although doing some reading on different spiritual and non-spiritual beliefs, I did discover that there is a nice place where I fit in. Ladies and Gentleman, I am proud to announce that I am....a.......Secular Humanist. "What is a secular humanist?", I hear you asking. Well in short:

"Secular Humanism is a term which has come into use in the last thirty years to describe a world view with the following elements and principles:

• A conviction that dogmas, ideologies and traditions, whether religious, political or social, must be weighed and tested by each individual and not simply accepted on faith.
• Commitment to the use of critical reason, factual evidence, and scientific methods of inquiry, rather than faith and mysticism, in seeking solutions to human problems and answers to important human questions.
• A primary concern with fulfillment, growth, and creativity for both the individual and humankind in general.
• A constant search for objective truth, with the understanding that new knowledge and experience constantly alter our imperfect perception of it.
• A concern for this life and a commitment to making it meaningful through better understanding of ourselves, our history, our intellectual and artistic achievements, and the outlooks of those who differ from us.
• A search for viable individual, social and political principles of ethical conduct, judging them on their ability to enhance human well-being and individual responsibility.
• A conviction that with reason, an open marketplace of ideas, good will, and tolerance, progress can be made in building a better world for ourselves and our children."

Suits me just fine. Plus, one of my literary heroes, Christopher Hitchens, is a champion of the Secular Humanist cause, and his absolutely hilarious, devastating critique of Mother Theresa, "The Missionary Position" is an inspiration for all to follow. Check out this interview with Hitchens for a better look into his worldview - and try to get a copy of "The Missionary Position" if you want a laugh out loud and interesting look at the truth behind a 20th century "icon".

Anyhow, having found the conveniently comfortable and roomy idealogical box that I fit into, I declare my spiritual search of Ramadan a success. Yay for me.

Ramadan ends this weekend. The end of Ramadan is a big public holiday period, the feast of Eid (ayyyy-ed, unpronouncable if you don't know the pronounciation of the Arabic letter 'ayn). There are two Eids each year, one after Ramadan and one about 3 months laster. The second Eid is the more famous one, where every family slaughters a sheep in rememberence of the defeat of the invading sheep army that threatened to overthrow the Abbuyyid dynasty in an orgy of wool and bleating. Or something like that. Anyhow, the one coming up is the more vegetarian, pacifist, non-sheep-killing Eid.

Eid is a day of feasting, and sounds similar to the way we westerners spend christmas day, without the alcohol. Big family thing, lots of food coming at regular intervals, surrounded by a couple of public holidays. So what will I be doing with my 5 day long weekend? Lazing around in an Oasis in the desert, thats what! A group of us are heading off to Siwa, which is an ancient oasis in the middle of the Sahara, close to the Libyan border.

Siwa has its fair share of history. It has been a mystical place in the region for thousands of years, and most famously, was home to the Oracle of Siwa. Alexander the Great visited the oracle before his conquest of the known world, and was told, quite accurately, that he was soon to conquer all of Asia. Must be a real morale booster for a young man and his army at the beginning of a long campaign half way across the globe.

Siwan people are very different to the Egyptians of Cairo and Alexandria. They speak their own language, Siwi, and are ethnically Berber, a pan-sahara grouping of nomadic people who stretch across all of North Afica. They make their living primarily though growing dates and olives (Egypt is the world's largest date producer. Didnt know that before? You do now!). They also do fairly well off the hash smuggling business, from what I have read. I mean you need something to do out there in the middle of the desert, right?

So will will be going to the Oasis town itself, and staying there for one night. Then we'll head out into the desert, and spend two nights under the stars. Complemented by a natural sping pool, jeeps, sandboards for the occasional dune-surf, and a couple of Siwaans who will costruct the tents, fire up the barbeques each night, and take out out for a tour of their homelant.

"And if you look to the right, you will see sand, and then out in front is some sand, and then - over past the sand dune there, we will come to something really special - what we call Xsisusa in Siwi, but in English I believe the word is......Sand"

It should be a fun weekend.

This is now a dead address. My new address is http://tomgara.nomadlife.org

This weblog is moving hosting over to the nomadlife community.

I will explain more later, but for now - my address is now http://tomgara.nomadlife.org , the blogspot one will no longer be updated.

So what are you waiting for? Go to http://tomgara.nomadlife.org right now!

When protesting election results, you gotta fight The Man in your own, unique way......

"Riley Sweeney, an 18-year-old Western Washington University freshman, elected to wear his protest: He showed up in a gray fedora and checkered blue bathrobe.

"I am in mourning because of the decision our country has made," he said. "I don't think I'll be wearing pants for a while."

Bush has won. The day of the Arachno-Cow is upon us. We are entering Kulyag, and nothing is going to get us out. If you havent seen seven legged spider-cows scuttling across a deserted highway in the middle of the night, get used to it, because things will only get worse. And as the Good Doctor advised on election eve 2000, get familiar with cannibalism.

This map demonstrates that the current "divided America" does indeed have a precedent.

It looks like Arafat will be dead within 48 hours. It will be good for the Middle East to see the end of him, but its a pity that cocksuckers like this will have yet another "victory" to jerk off over in the coming days.

And in more bad news for the Arab world, Sheikh Zayed, the President of the UAE, died on Tuesday. He was one of the better leaders in the region, and his results speak for themselves - the UAE is an incredibly modern, well developed (relatively) free, prosperous and growing place, with its phenomenal growth not based just on oil revenues, but on being one of the most attractive places in the world to do business. It is absolutely the best example of a modern Arab country - although this still leaves a lot to be desired. In contrast to the recent elections in Australia, the US, Ukraine and Indonesia, the new president of the UAE has already been announced. I don't think it was by pure merit and popular support that it just happened to be Sheikh Zayed's oldest son.

In Kulyag, times are strange. The age of the spider-cow is not one for the weak of heart. Avoid public places, especially where dairy products are being sold. Things could get weird.

Gizmodo has the real scoop on the US elections:

Is it just me, or is the birth of a seven legged calf in Jamaica on the SAME DAY as a US presidential election just a little TOO convenient to be labeled as a "coincedence".

And one of the villagers who witnessed the spider-cow is onto it as well:

"We are living in the dark age which is called (Kalyug), and during this time miracles would happen all over the world, so no one should be surprised," she said.

I for one would like to welcome our new Antichrist overlord.